Is It Just Me?

Hey Earthlings, what's up with the world?

Yeah, I actually asked you that. It's been months since I've posted last and not because I was being lazy or didn't have time; it was because there was nothing fascinating enough to write on. Even now, I'd rather backspace this. You ask why? Here's why...

Everyone's so caught up in their life, everyone wants a bigger piece of the pie. No-one will stop for you or help you, You're all on your own, literally. I see people bringing each other down and for what? You get what you want initially but those karmic reactions aren't gonna neutralize on their own. Seen 3 idiots? Of course you have. "Life is a race, if you don't run fast you'll be like a broken undaa (egg)". Succeeding in life is perfectly okay. I, like other bloggers can write you dozens of articles on striving for the best in life but have you reflected on how you're gonna get there? Look at all the emotional messes you're creating while pulling that off. 

When I was in school, a classmate of mine had this strong sense of dislike towards me although I never did anything to bring us to that, we were actually pretty good friends. One day, out of the blue she started cyber bullying me- she spread out hate against my name and I was called names and that pretty much destroyed the reputation I had as a friend/classmate to others. And till date, I don't know why. I was a kid so naturally I didn't know how to handle the situation and I ended up proving and living up to the things I was called. It was a phase I call "Medieval", I let myself be defined by the things other people said and when I actually put it to thought I wasn't like that at all. Gradually, I grew out of it and my friend circle changed into more supportive and bearable people. 

Maybe she had her reasons and I'm not even judging her for that, her methods were just unacceptable that's all. She could have talked it out or even stopped talking, there's always a choice.

In the span of your life, you will meet people you like and dislike. Your vibrations just don't match, yeah that's a thing and it's natural. Instead of bringing them down, isn't it easier to just let it go? Why waste your time and efforts in something which isn't letting you or the other grow as a person? 

Is it just me? Is it just me who asks this question? Of course not. And yeah, I'm not perfect; I'm guilty of bringing someone down as well and I regret it because when realization hits it's just too late. Clean up your act before it's too late. Don't be the one people don't say 'hi' to at reunions or parties. Be the one who gets hugs from everyone present there. Isn't that the type of love that warms your chest? It feels good. Cliche but I can't resist - Be the best version of yourself. 

Since it's out in the open, if you have ever been hurt by what I've said or done - I apologize. And for what it counts, everyone has a better and brighter side. Go on in your life with positive auras around you, be good to people - they'll be good to you. I know some might just read this and move on in their lives maybe, like the post on facebook, maybe not; but I hope this makes a difference somewhere somehow.

Thank you for listening. 

First Impressions?

Are the last? When you meet someone you create notions about them that may or may not be true and on the basis of that you decide your actions, right? In psychology the first impression is the event when one first encounters another person and forms a mental image of that person. The first impressions of another vary from one individual to another, and greatly influence how that person would be treated and viewed in everyday life.

According to psychology ( thanks wikipedia!), the choice between individualism and collectivism is a great influence on a first impression of a person. There are several other factors influencing it but in this post, we're gonna talk majorly of this aspect. I happened to have an individualist approach as observed by peers so for more accurate understanding, I'll first explain to you what individualism exactly is. 

Individualism is a social theory advocating that an individual's interests and goals should precendence over external influences. It is the act of taking care of oneself, stating that each person is unique and self-reliant. Individualism is the quality of being individual and exercising your own ideas and actions without any social context. On the other hand, collectivism suggests the exercise of ideas and thoughts in a more socially aware manner, they analyze situations in terms of the social groups formed. 

Back to the topic at hand, if your first impression is based on what society suggests to be proper and appropriate then you're bound to be a collectivist. For example, Racism. Racism is the view that there is a race of people, usually determined by skin color and appearance, and that they're all basically the same. Racism is fundamentally collectivist. Instead of viewing individuals by their own actions, values, or attributes, the group is judged and the outcome is arbitrarily assigned to the individuals. In other words, you get praised or blamed not by your own actions, but by the actions of someone else (or more than one person). This is a huge injustice, and it turns the whole concept of moral judgment upside down. When you see an african-american or a society name which is "black". You haven't talked to them or have been personally introduced and you don't even know their name but yet you make up notions of them as a rowdy bunch. Do you not have a mind of your own to function with?

First impressions are subjective to everyone but being a collectivist, you'll be at ease till your opinions are in alignment of the group, but when you're compelled to change your opinion you're more likely to change the views of all the members of the group for peer acceptance. Now flipping the coin, an individualist is confrontational and is willing to change their views at ease according to their own mental images, after the uncertainty.

Look at it this way, thinking with your mind and analyzing a situation according to your own mental ability is much more beneficial than just accepting what the society says. The society grasps what they hear, not what they think. Think about all those wonderful people you might have missed out on by listening to others?

First impressions are stable most of the time so listening to your thought process is the right way to go, you can't actually believe what the other says when you haven't seen or experienced it for yourself.

Happy Realization! :D

A First.

A first to something is always scary and somewhat surprising. When I was a little kid, I was scared to go anywhere alone and maybe I still am but that doesn't bring me down. Life requires you to step up your game every now and then and it isn't always a slumber party. 

I had a first not so long ago: First day to college. We all dream about the college we wanna go to and fantasize on how our first day would be like. I perhaps, thought the first day would be quite entertaining and full of new stuff to take in. In reality, first day was a really surprising surprise. For people like me who are so used to being in an inside and protected environment, college is a new land where you're divided into kings & queens, courtiers and peasants. Now for all those who made a frustrated look on this statement, let me explain before you stop reading. 

Kings and Queens: The 3rd year undergrad students i.e your super seniors. They will not look at you nor acknowledge your presence let alone greet you on your first day. They have better stuff to do like sort out their assignments or laugh it off with a buddy. Now not all are the typical snotty rulers but some turn out to be really friendly. 

Courtiers: The 2nd year undergrad students i.e your seniors. Now they have put it on themselves to either make you super comfortable on campus or super uncomfortable in their presence. For example, on my first day I met two contrasting personalities of seniors. One was friendly, helpful and comforting while the other was snobby, intolerable and discomforting. To be honest, I can write quite a lot about this section of people because of the amount of interaction I have had but that won't make this post any better or worse.

Peasants: The newbies i.e the first years. We wake up and wear our best clothes and put a notebook in our bags just in case. Enter college to be all changed by the fantasies we've dreamed of but what do we get? Surprises. College isn't school, this will be repeated to you hundred times till it resonates in. 

College can be a beautiful or shocking experience for different people. You don't have teachers running after you to finish your assignments, you won't have the restrictions of uniforms or rigorous 7 hours of classes. Lectures, note making and finding your classes on time are complimentary to the college experience. It might not sound like a big change for school students now but when it happens, it sure leaves a mark on you. Handling such a situation can be easy for some yet difficult to many because Indian students are used to spoon feeding and teacher pressure. Without it, they might not ever get their work done. 

 For the record, I'm loving my college days and I hope this feeling lasts. Direction is all it takes to enjoy this transition.School is an experience which no will ever forget but college is something which will bring out your real potential. In midst of  traveling alone and finishing up assignments you'll never know when you grew up. Going to a university like Jamia Millia Islamia has made me realize that it doesn't matter where you come from; it matters of what you're made of. 

Getting through a new phase requires patience, hard work and persistence. Scoring A's isn't the point, scoring the right personality is. 

You make it or you break it. 

It's all on you. 

Good Luck  :D

Color Me Multi-Color.

USA just legalized same sex marriage and what's the world got to say?

You must have seen the colorful profile pictures your friends have put up on facebook or whatsapp claiming to support The States legalizing same sex marriage. Why is it such a big deal in India when the society here just runs their own stereotype? Isn't it ironical that here if we spot a gay couple we'd say incoherent things about them? But when USA does this, we're in claps and praises? Well done India well done.
Sexuality is personal to one's being, and there's no reason for someone else to judge them about it. How would you feel if someone said you were stupid but reality check, you're dyslexic? Everyone is entitled to their own choice of sexuality and no-one; not even their parents can stop them from it. In India, being gay is a crime according to the old folks. And this is not me judging but actually observing. Why can't an individual live their life on their own terms? So what if they're interested in the same sex, it's not the end of the world. They're happy, isn't that enough for you?
I'm disappointed in the type of values our societies have to give, why is the life of the other so interesting that we make it a point to judge them? Do you not think before judging them?Sexuality is a choice. Be it straight, bisexual or homosexual. If we can live with bilingual people, why not bisexual? Acceptance is all it takes. Open up your mind to worldly things, embrace the human being as he/she comes. Like a person for their personality not their choices because if you judge them that means someone can judge you too. 
Conventional norms are gone and done with. I'm not saying that you should go wild but learn to respect each other's choices. If you like strawberry ice-cream, doesn't mean I will too right? We're all diversified creatures with different outlooks on life. Why should that be a reason to shun someone?
I know my ranting is useless to people who like having their own way with everything but come out of your closet, and look around. We're all Multi-Color.


Respect to get respected. 

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it. 

Are you worrying about everything every minute of your life? Will I score well in my exams? Will I get a good college? Will my boss give me my bonus this year? Can I afford this exquisite china? 

Yes it's normal. The devil haunting your soul is Stress. I was over with my board examinations 10 days ago and honestly even if they're over , the stress that haunted me isn't. I still wake up in the middle of the night with my sub-conscious mind telling me to study for my economics board ( not that it didn't go well) but anyway you get the point. Even if you manage to convince yourself that you're stress free , your mind will always have other plans for you. And it's not just students , it's everyone; from every walk of life. Your mother stresses about making your food in the morning, if she doesn't get up on time , everyone will be late. Your father worries about financial constraints or where you barged off with your friends without telling him ( not an ideal situation, believe me) .
So basically , everyone has something to stress about. But it's not what you think about , it's how you overcome it. For some people it's music , for some writing or dancing. Stress is a deadly virus which can only be secreted by the activity of your choice. Don't think of it as a burden , more of a challenge. Challenge yourself to be free of the unnecessary shackles you have tied yourself to. Why stress about your result when you have no control of whatever it is? Why stress about your children or husband getting late , it's just a time , it's just a temporary situation; everyone will get over it.

 Stress demands to be outwitted. Take it all out. Listen to music, write it all out , dance your worries away ,read to escape reality, play your favorite sport BUT don't keep it in. Never keep it in. Mental stress can result in physical destruction of your body which is not desirable. So take it out. Remember that this too shall pass. The situation you are in today will not be there next week or next year. It's temporary. Everything that happens to you is for a reason and for a specific time period. You do not need to drag yourself to melancholy for a thing which will be over before you spell out mississippi ( see I can make humor with sarcasm).

So chill out and be yourself because your mind is yours. Tame it , endure it and learn to enjoy it. 

Know Yourself

The more you know who you are and what you want , the less you let things upset you.

“Be yourself; everyone is already taken” ~Oscar Wilde

Do you indulge in activities to prove yourself? To impress acquaintances? To establish self worth? To build up self -esteem?
The best way you can prove yourself is by discovering yourself.
Find out what you're good at instead of following the whole world.
You deserve to be appreciated and approached the same way others are , that doesn't mean you have to be SAME.
The sole purpose of discovering oneself is to not fit in but stand out .
You should be able to assess what your likes and dislikes are and present your opinions more freely.
We have been given some rights which deserve to be exercised 'eh?

A society consists of a number of indigenous people. 
Everyone is different. Everyone is unique. 

Our society requires intelligent and people who speak for themselves .
There are , you say? WHERE?
I only see groups not individualism.

Discover your passion , your hobbies , your interests cause your opinion matters as much as the one's next to you. 

You do not have to justify your worth. The thought of proving yourself is entirely wrong and destructive as it presumes that some hierarchy of people’s worth exists. The truth is that everyone is worthy of love, respect, and kindness.

Take time to try different things to figure what you enjoy.
Time provides us with insights we never could discover ourselves. Give time to yourself. Be alone , do what makes you happy ; discover what makes you happy. 

Let go of expectations. This is not what you think , what I mean is to be happy with what you have rather than idolizing a situation whose definite occurrence is not known to us . Why stress out on things which have not happen or things we do not have and believe our world to be crumbling in front of us ; why not just cherish what we have at hand in the present.

Look after yourself. Always find time for self care . Celebrate with yourself cause you are your own best friend.  Even if it means spending a friday night indoors reading a good book cause you like it instead of going to a party you don't wanna go to just cause your social circle thinks it's 'cool'. 

Fitting in is overrated. Don't try to fit in a particular group. Be yourself and you'll attract authentic friendships. Your friends should be with you cause they enjoy your company and unique qualities. Some goes for us , we should like a person for their personality not because they are associated with a particular group or tag. 


"I think it's very healthy to spend time alone, You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person " - Oscar Wilde. 

And You Thought Dragons Didn't Exist...

They exist in you. 

The supernatural? The imaginary? The Undead? No , No and No.
We're talking about you , me and everyone .
There's no possession inside you , don't worry bud!

Have you ever done something nice recently for someone else other than yourself? Have you given up your own happiness for the sake of another? If the answers to these questions are a NO with a sigh , you my friend have a dragon trapped inside. We all want happiness, but finding it isn't the easiest venture. Many of us conceive of it as the end-product of material wealth, career goals and family harmony. With that in mind, we seek out the things we believe will deliver it: better cars, nicer houses and bigger paychecks. Others of us work to put together a large network of friends or find a spouse. But as soon as we get used to this stuff , it just doesn't make us happy anymore does it? We're selfish ; human wants are never-ending.
Ever done something for someone else? A SELFLESS act?
There is a completely different essence of life in doing something like that ; the smile you put on a street kid's face when you give him/her his ice-cream , giving a blanket to the homeless in the winter , teaching the less fortunate?
If you've eaten the ice cream yourself and shooed away the kid , open your shell and let the dragon out.
Let your dragon burn in front of you :')
Be NICE. Be SELFLESS. Be a HUMAN for a change. You don't want Karma chasing you down your driveway now do you? Find happiness in the happiness of others , be the good one instead of the bad one! Be the person that makes other feel special , be known for your kindness and sympathy.
Next time you step outside , you'll smile at a kid and he'll smile back :')
That is called the different essence !
Go on and charm your surroundings..