First Impressions?

Are the last? When you meet someone you create notions about them that may or may not be true and on the basis of that you decide your actions, right? In psychology the first impression is the event when one first encounters another person and forms a mental image of that person. The first impressions of another vary from one individual to another, and greatly influence how that person would be treated and viewed in everyday life.

According to psychology ( thanks wikipedia!), the choice between individualism and collectivism is a great influence on a first impression of a person. There are several other factors influencing it but in this post, we're gonna talk majorly of this aspect. I happened to have an individualist approach as observed by peers so for more accurate understanding, I'll first explain to you what individualism exactly is. 

Individualism is a social theory advocating that an individual's interests and goals should precendence over external influences. It is the act of taking care of oneself, stating that each person is unique and self-reliant. Individualism is the quality of being individual and exercising your own ideas and actions without any social context. On the other hand, collectivism suggests the exercise of ideas and thoughts in a more socially aware manner, they analyze situations in terms of the social groups formed. 

Back to the topic at hand, if your first impression is based on what society suggests to be proper and appropriate then you're bound to be a collectivist. For example, Racism. Racism is the view that there is a race of people, usually determined by skin color and appearance, and that they're all basically the same. Racism is fundamentally collectivist. Instead of viewing individuals by their own actions, values, or attributes, the group is judged and the outcome is arbitrarily assigned to the individuals. In other words, you get praised or blamed not by your own actions, but by the actions of someone else (or more than one person). This is a huge injustice, and it turns the whole concept of moral judgment upside down. When you see an african-american or a society name which is "black". You haven't talked to them or have been personally introduced and you don't even know their name but yet you make up notions of them as a rowdy bunch. Do you not have a mind of your own to function with?

First impressions are subjective to everyone but being a collectivist, you'll be at ease till your opinions are in alignment of the group, but when you're compelled to change your opinion you're more likely to change the views of all the members of the group for peer acceptance. Now flipping the coin, an individualist is confrontational and is willing to change their views at ease according to their own mental images, after the uncertainty.

Look at it this way, thinking with your mind and analyzing a situation according to your own mental ability is much more beneficial than just accepting what the society says. The society grasps what they hear, not what they think. Think about all those wonderful people you might have missed out on by listening to others?

First impressions are stable most of the time so listening to your thought process is the right way to go, you can't actually believe what the other says when you haven't seen or experienced it for yourself.

Happy Realization! :D

A First.

A first to something is always scary and somewhat surprising. When I was a little kid, I was scared to go anywhere alone and maybe I still am but that doesn't bring me down. Life requires you to step up your game every now and then and it isn't always a slumber party. 

I had a first not so long ago: First day to college. We all dream about the college we wanna go to and fantasize on how our first day would be like. I perhaps, thought the first day would be quite entertaining and full of new stuff to take in. In reality, first day was a really surprising surprise. For people like me who are so used to being in an inside and protected environment, college is a new land where you're divided into kings & queens, courtiers and peasants. Now for all those who made a frustrated look on this statement, let me explain before you stop reading. 

Kings and Queens: The 3rd year undergrad students i.e your super seniors. They will not look at you nor acknowledge your presence let alone greet you on your first day. They have better stuff to do like sort out their assignments or laugh it off with a buddy. Now not all are the typical snotty rulers but some turn out to be really friendly. 

Courtiers: The 2nd year undergrad students i.e your seniors. Now they have put it on themselves to either make you super comfortable on campus or super uncomfortable in their presence. For example, on my first day I met two contrasting personalities of seniors. One was friendly, helpful and comforting while the other was snobby, intolerable and discomforting. To be honest, I can write quite a lot about this section of people because of the amount of interaction I have had but that won't make this post any better or worse.

Peasants: The newbies i.e the first years. We wake up and wear our best clothes and put a notebook in our bags just in case. Enter college to be all changed by the fantasies we've dreamed of but what do we get? Surprises. College isn't school, this will be repeated to you hundred times till it resonates in. 

College can be a beautiful or shocking experience for different people. You don't have teachers running after you to finish your assignments, you won't have the restrictions of uniforms or rigorous 7 hours of classes. Lectures, note making and finding your classes on time are complimentary to the college experience. It might not sound like a big change for school students now but when it happens, it sure leaves a mark on you. Handling such a situation can be easy for some yet difficult to many because Indian students are used to spoon feeding and teacher pressure. Without it, they might not ever get their work done. 

 For the record, I'm loving my college days and I hope this feeling lasts. Direction is all it takes to enjoy this transition.School is an experience which no will ever forget but college is something which will bring out your real potential. In midst of  traveling alone and finishing up assignments you'll never know when you grew up. Going to a university like Jamia Millia Islamia has made me realize that it doesn't matter where you come from; it matters of what you're made of. 

Getting through a new phase requires patience, hard work and persistence. Scoring A's isn't the point, scoring the right personality is. 

You make it or you break it. 

It's all on you. 

Good Luck  :D

Color Me Multi-Color.

USA just legalized same sex marriage and what's the world got to say?

You must have seen the colorful profile pictures your friends have put up on facebook or whatsapp claiming to support The States legalizing same sex marriage. Why is it such a big deal in India when the society here just runs their own stereotype? Isn't it ironical that here if we spot a gay couple we'd say incoherent things about them? But when USA does this, we're in claps and praises? Well done India well done.
Sexuality is personal to one's being, and there's no reason for someone else to judge them about it. How would you feel if someone said you were stupid but reality check, you're dyslexic? Everyone is entitled to their own choice of sexuality and no-one; not even their parents can stop them from it. In India, being gay is a crime according to the old folks. And this is not me judging but actually observing. Why can't an individual live their life on their own terms? So what if they're interested in the same sex, it's not the end of the world. They're happy, isn't that enough for you?
I'm disappointed in the type of values our societies have to give, why is the life of the other so interesting that we make it a point to judge them? Do you not think before judging them?Sexuality is a choice. Be it straight, bisexual or homosexual. If we can live with bilingual people, why not bisexual? Acceptance is all it takes. Open up your mind to worldly things, embrace the human being as he/she comes. Like a person for their personality not their choices because if you judge them that means someone can judge you too. 
Conventional norms are gone and done with. I'm not saying that you should go wild but learn to respect each other's choices. If you like strawberry ice-cream, doesn't mean I will too right? We're all diversified creatures with different outlooks on life. Why should that be a reason to shun someone?
I know my ranting is useless to people who like having their own way with everything but come out of your closet, and look around. We're all Multi-Color.


Respect to get respected. 

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it. 

Are you worrying about everything every minute of your life? Will I score well in my exams? Will I get a good college? Will my boss give me my bonus this year? Can I afford this exquisite china? 

Yes it's normal. The devil haunting your soul is Stress. I was over with my board examinations 10 days ago and honestly even if they're over , the stress that haunted me isn't. I still wake up in the middle of the night with my sub-conscious mind telling me to study for my economics board ( not that it didn't go well) but anyway you get the point. Even if you manage to convince yourself that you're stress free , your mind will always have other plans for you. And it's not just students , it's everyone; from every walk of life. Your mother stresses about making your food in the morning, if she doesn't get up on time , everyone will be late. Your father worries about financial constraints or where you barged off with your friends without telling him ( not an ideal situation, believe me) .
So basically , everyone has something to stress about. But it's not what you think about , it's how you overcome it. For some people it's music , for some writing or dancing. Stress is a deadly virus which can only be secreted by the activity of your choice. Don't think of it as a burden , more of a challenge. Challenge yourself to be free of the unnecessary shackles you have tied yourself to. Why stress about your result when you have no control of whatever it is? Why stress about your children or husband getting late , it's just a time , it's just a temporary situation; everyone will get over it.

 Stress demands to be outwitted. Take it all out. Listen to music, write it all out , dance your worries away ,read to escape reality, play your favorite sport BUT don't keep it in. Never keep it in. Mental stress can result in physical destruction of your body which is not desirable. So take it out. Remember that this too shall pass. The situation you are in today will not be there next week or next year. It's temporary. Everything that happens to you is for a reason and for a specific time period. You do not need to drag yourself to melancholy for a thing which will be over before you spell out mississippi ( see I can make humor with sarcasm).

So chill out and be yourself because your mind is yours. Tame it , endure it and learn to enjoy it.